THOUGHTS ON SELF EMPLOYMENT & MOTHERHOOD

Aug 09, 2017 | Industry

This week I'm writing more of my random brain thoughts (!) and this one in particular has been floating round my brains and emotions for some time. I remember a time in my life when the work life balance was an idea of when I could fit in a night out with friends over cocktails compared to a never ending inbox of a bustling and quick growing small business. Now, my work life balance entails a drastic difference of a whole new member of our family, guilt, financial stresses, childcare, relationship strains, lack of sleep and the age old 'not enough hours in the day'. Yep, I'm that person now. Trying to juggle everything life throws at me all whilst trying to (at least appear to) be the perfect Mother.

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I know that most of my industry friends out there (male or female) have encountered some shift in their working life trying to be everywhere at all times. Man it's exhausting. I want to be all the things - a good Mum, a good wife, a good business owner and leader in my industry, a good friend/daughter/sister/aunt, the list is endless. Throw on top of that, the jobs that need doing round the house, the food shopping, and well, the five minutes of peace we all need. Yup, we've all been there and that's where I am right now. Delicately trying to work out the ever changing balance and trying not to drop one of my spinning plates. The truth is, whichever plate drops to the ground, which one will be the first to go in order of importance? First the smaller things go; food shopping, chores, time to myself. But ultimately I can't let the truly important plates (people) drop at all. So what gives?

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I've learned so much about myself in the last year since little Miss P arrived not least of all to learn to accept that I can't be all the things. To enjoy the insignificant moments in life because those are ironically the ones I'll remember. To make more time for myself (still working on that one!). At workshops I attend, I tell people not to compare themselves to others but I secretly do it all the time. I've also tried to simplify my lifestyle so to have less to worry about but alas, it's as complicated as ever. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I don't have it anywhere near figured out. I get comments in person and on email/social all the time about what an exciting life I lead, what a beautiful and happy family I have, what a beautiful home I have, and you know what? I have to remind myself sometimes that I really do. It's easy to get sucked into the 'what's wrong with my life' bubble but much harder to accept that what I am is a lucky SOB.

I could chat about the degenerative illness my husband has and how doctors have repeatedly told him his life expectancy is low. Or how we struggled through 4 years of failed IVF cycles and losses. About how my business suffers because I can't prioritise it anymore. About how we live in a town far away from any family and friends which can be isolating. About the PND I suffered after having Miss P (or how I cried after writing that sentence down). Instead I'm going to chat about how healthy my family is right now. How we had a healthy and successful pregnancy and delivery to a bouncing baby girl who is almost 1 year old! How I have a successful online business that continues to grow within a hugely supportive industry and enables me to work hours around my family life. About the fact I love my little girl more than life itself and how supportive and understanding my friends and family are.

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Although accolades and praise are of course wonderful, they're necessary at times, they're perhaps more important to me than they should be. So, I invite you to join me in the 'working in our pyjamas' day, the 'haven't eaten a healthy meal in a week' club, the 'I feel guilty I don't do enough for my kids and husband/wife' gang. We're all trying our hardest and that is the only thing that matters. Contributing something to this world whether it's happy, healthy children or a brand that inspires others to push themselves, or even a compliment said out loud to someone - that's all that matters today.

From this mamma who's wearing the same shirt for 2 days running and has no make up on whilst running late to pick up the baby from nursery... You got this...

Sara xoxo

p.s. These images from my fave Taylor & Porter are beautiful and I have them all over my home but I need to share that P had a complete meltdown this particular day and wouldn't play ball. But alas, they came out beautifully and I wouldn't change her fiery temprament for the world.. ;)

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Photography: Taylor & Porter

Comments

11 Comments
L
Louise - 8 September 2017

It’s such an honour to capture your beautiful family Sara. Thank you for writing from the heart about how it isn’t always easy, for all your hard work supporting us creatives and for always championing the beauty of film. My business wouldn’t be where it is today without your friendship and support. A huge well done for all you’ve achieved personally and professionally so far my friend. Sending you, Andy and sweet Purdy much love xoxo

C
Claire - 4 September 2017

Oh gosh, I just had to comment on this Sara, even with tear filled eyes!  Life really does test us, doesn’t it!? Although I’ve learnt that we are stronger then we think.  My World really fell apart when I lost my mum a year ago. Don’t get me wrong, I still shed those secret tears (more often then I would like to admit to) but that’s just a way of coping! You just have to be a little selfish and prioritise what is important and enjoy it to the full.  Stay positive my lovely, you’ve totally got this!! xo

LP
Laura Power - 10 August 2017

This is just wonderful, so honest and true.
All of us - tired, unwashed hair, unresponded emails.. us mamas are with you! Its a constant juggling act but when my baba laughs it just makes that stress melt away :)
Attempting to keep a business afloat and have a family seems an impossible task to me.  When they say “women can have it all”... were they being serious? Or are they crazy.
I am sure it will all settle down as we find our feet on this new journey but for now i’m glad i’m not the only one. You got this! xxx

LM
Lucy Munoz - 10 August 2017

This was written so beautifully. It tugged at my heartstrings because as a working mother I could relate to all of this. Thank you for being so vulnerable. It helps to know that other people go through the same things and still persevere. Xoxo

Ml
Maria lamb - 9 August 2017

Love this, thank you for your vulnerability and encouragement Sarah!

RK
Rebecca Kobus - 9 August 2017

Yep! That is me! Never enough time in the day but I feel like I just keep going. I want to have a breakdown but then Fleur looks at me with that adorable grin and claps and laughs and I forget about everything!

This mom thing is no joke! I for sure haven’t blogged in months. I keep reminding myself to put Fleur, our family and my business above the extras and am always still trying to discover the balance. I keep reminding myself that this is life and she will only keep growing so to try and appreciate the time and days I have with her and be gracious I can spend the amount of time I CAN with her!
xoxo

F
Farnaz - 9 August 2017

Sara this is priceless… I hear you with every cell in my body and every bit of my soul! Don’t have kids yet but dreaming of one and right on the edge to have one…. and all these struggles and the other side of life you were talking about (how you usually do not talk about the illnesses and financial or other stress and etc….) is so so so precious… I am so glad you wrote this, you just made my day :) much love! #wegotthisgirl

CB
CHARLOTTE BRYER-ASH - 9 August 2017

Lovely post Sara and so beautifully written. Work, life balance…what is it? Ha! You are doing amazing and should be incredibly proud of everything you are achieving and the big milestones you have had over the past year - don’t be too hard on yourself. Miss P is so wonderful and you are an amazing mum and business owner. It is very difficult to not compare, I think we all do this! And you’re not on your own…I am definitely here right now still in PJ’s :) Sending a big virtual hug x

F
Farnaz - 9 August 2017

Sara this is priceless… I hear you with every cell in my body and every bit of my soul! Don’t have kids yet but dreaming of one and right on the edge to have one…. and all these struggles and the other side of life you were talking about (how you usually do not talk about the illnesses and financial or other stress and etc….) is so so so precious… I am so glad you wrote this, you just made my day :) much love! #wegotthisgirl

H
Hannah - 9 August 2017

Love this! Although I don’t have kids (yet), you are so brave to talk about what others are likely going through every day. I’ve experienced most of it myself and I don’t even have kids! LOL YOU GOT THIS!

TG
Tracy G - 9 August 2017

You speak to my heart! This work life blanace you speak of! Non existent. I too am guilty of sometimes prioritising the wrong things at times but you know what? As long as we get back to where we should be, I can live with that. #yougotthis

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